First post...
Sigh.... why my life is always so miserable .... living under worries, anxiety...etc.... can't i just live normally... happy.... I just didn't know what to do to make my life better now... my schooling life in polytechnic.... everyday just kept worrying and worrying ..... as i read from a book title "how to stop worrying and start living" there is a quote saying that "people who worries the most mostly die young". Is the quote meant for me? I don't know why... recently.. i mean the starting of this semester (june 2005). I have this feeling of dieing... and today ..... I with playing street soccer with my classmates and we were resting under this metal pole and when my friend just jokingly saying that lightning would strike. At that point of time, I just wish that it would strike down and kill me and I would have nothing to worry anymore.
No more school work, no more arguements with schoolmates, no more "fill in the blanks"....
Since young i always thought that i am THE one who can have everything in the world. Now that i have grown up then i felt that, it's absolutely bullshit .... how naive am i huH?
How i wish to be carefree everyday...... I always though that everybody around me is living better then me.... Maybe that my point of view..... and also thats the low self esteem of me..... always looking down on myself....
At this point in time, I am really afraid that i would failed my Final Year Project. I really really have no idea of whats going on.... my teammate is just couldn't be bothered and asking me to think of a way to solve it... he is just so clever of using me..... and i am stupid and of course afraid of failing that i would oblige to his bidding, if not hell no that i would do that. I just really hope that god could see this and blessed me .....
I would list my weaknesses
1) timid
2) Easily get angered.
3) Don't know how to refuse people
4) Don't know how to react to people - eg. He scolded me and i knew that he was in the wrong but i just didn't react back to him. Maybe i am too kind? or stupid?
thats all i could think of.....
I really hope that i or someone in this world who could invent a machine that could transform all their weaknesses to strengths. I know that no one in this world is perfect....
Why cant some people get to accomadate other people and instead wait for the person to accomadate to them..... why don't they make the first move..... I really don't know for someone as this thing involves them but they just couldn't be bothered about it....... FUCK YOU MAN....... i really really really really DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE AFTER POLY>>>>> GET LOST!!!!!!!
till next time ....
No more school work, no more arguements with schoolmates, no more "fill in the blanks"....
Since young i always thought that i am THE one who can have everything in the world. Now that i have grown up then i felt that, it's absolutely bullshit .... how naive am i huH?
How i wish to be carefree everyday...... I always though that everybody around me is living better then me.... Maybe that my point of view..... and also thats the low self esteem of me..... always looking down on myself....
At this point in time, I am really afraid that i would failed my Final Year Project. I really really have no idea of whats going on.... my teammate is just couldn't be bothered and asking me to think of a way to solve it... he is just so clever of using me..... and i am stupid and of course afraid of failing that i would oblige to his bidding, if not hell no that i would do that. I just really hope that god could see this and blessed me .....
I would list my weaknesses
1) timid
2) Easily get angered.
3) Don't know how to refuse people
4) Don't know how to react to people - eg. He scolded me and i knew that he was in the wrong but i just didn't react back to him. Maybe i am too kind? or stupid?
thats all i could think of.....
I really hope that i or someone in this world who could invent a machine that could transform all their weaknesses to strengths. I know that no one in this world is perfect....
Why cant some people get to accomadate other people and instead wait for the person to accomadate to them..... why don't they make the first move..... I really don't know for someone as this thing involves them but they just couldn't be bothered about it....... FUCK YOU MAN....... i really really really really DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE AFTER POLY>>>>> GET LOST!!!!!!!
till next time ....
posted by Dreams at 11:26 AM
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