Updates

hmm.... been studying for exams and just did 1 paper last thursday and will be taking 2 paper today and tml..... then its FYP for me!!!...... sigh.....
Did not talk to my fyp mate for nearly 4 weeks...... I really don't know how to face him.... ask him to do cannot .... i ask myself to do also cannot.... maybe i just too weak... always being controlled by ppl..... sigh....
Rule of Thumb.... don't do fyp with your BEST friend/s, alright if they are willing to work.... if not forgot it just be friends with them.
I have promise myself to get over this and done with...... therefore i would try my very best to do whatever i could to complete this obstacle i would say.... :)
Lastly wish myself all the best in my exams today and tml.... CHIONG AH!!!

Stop.

hmm.... it's been quite sometime since i blog.... time to update things abt me....

1) FYP - 2 weeks didn't met supervisor... sucks as always.... planned to do it during sch holiday after my final exams
2) Final examation is coming - haven't been really studying..... but not too much worries as compared to above... 1st exam date is on 22/9/05.... good luck to myself....
3) Don't know what been going on with my face.... popping out alot of pimples...... :( hope it would be gone by this week :)
4) Have a new circle of friends.... hmmmm.... quite a different experience....there is quite a nice guy who is very helpful.... maybe its time to get to know new friends as old friends sucks in one way or another.... hmmmm ....
5) Been spending quite a sum of money.... quite a nice feeling spending money... :)


quote by me: if you want only the best.. then obviously you must be the worst.

till next time...

Monday is my birthday

hmmm.... Monday will be my 20th birthday...... but i most probably will be doing project work.... sigh... what a special birthday will that be huh? :) I have already gather my thoughts and stuffs and i have managed to come out with a decision that .... no matter what happens or outcome.... I would give my best shot in my project, so that i would have no regrets anymore.... but most of all ultimately i hope to pass it once and for all....

Today, i would be celebrating my tution teacher's birthday!! hmmm..... after counting the years that i have known him...... I think that it has been more then 6 years i guess from sec 2 when he started teaching me.... I guess without him, i wouldn't have such improvement in my maths..... now he became more like a friend rather then a teacher but infront of my parents when i mention him, i would always say "tution teacher" in chinese rather than my friend. I guess it's a form of respect and also he's my tution teacher afterall.....

Talking about the wishes i would thought of for my coming birthday is that .....
1) Hope to complete my FYP
2) Change my attitude when people says negative things about me (Previously i would always be very angry, i hope to change. eg. changing to act like nothing happens. As people tends to step more on you when you acts weakly. BE strong !!
3) Lazyness.... this has been a great problem to me since yr 2 i guess....
4) Reduce weight, hopefully from my current 76kg to around 70kg :)

thats all for now....
till next time .....

Monday is my birthday

First post...

Sigh.... why my life is always so miserable .... living under worries, anxiety...etc.... can't i just live normally... happy.... I just didn't know what to do to make my life better now... my schooling life in polytechnic.... everyday just kept worrying and worrying ..... as i read from a book title "how to stop worrying and start living" there is a quote saying that "people who worries the most mostly die young". Is the quote meant for me? I don't know why... recently.. i mean the starting of this semester (june 2005). I have this feeling of dieing... and today ..... I with playing street soccer with my classmates and we were resting under this metal pole and when my friend just jokingly saying that lightning would strike. At that point of time, I just wish that it would strike down and kill me and I would have nothing to worry anymore.

No more school work, no more arguements with schoolmates, no more "fill in the blanks"....
Since young i always thought that i am THE one who can have everything in the world. Now that i have grown up then i felt that, it's absolutely bullshit .... how naive am i huH?
How i wish to be carefree everyday...... I always though that everybody around me is living better then me.... Maybe that my point of view..... and also thats the low self esteem of me..... always looking down on myself....

At this point in time, I am really afraid that i would failed my Final Year Project. I really really have no idea of whats going on.... my teammate is just couldn't be bothered and asking me to think of a way to solve it... he is just so clever of using me..... and i am stupid and of course afraid of failing that i would oblige to his bidding, if not hell no that i would do that. I just really hope that god could see this and blessed me .....

I would list my weaknesses
1) timid
2) Easily get angered.
3) Don't know how to refuse people
4) Don't know how to react to people - eg. He scolded me and i knew that he was in the wrong but i just didn't react back to him. Maybe i am too kind? or stupid?

thats all i could think of.....

I really hope that i or someone in this world who could invent a machine that could transform all their weaknesses to strengths. I know that no one in this world is perfect....

Why cant some people get to accomadate other people and instead wait for the person to accomadate to them..... why don't they make the first move..... I really don't know for someone as this thing involves them but they just couldn't be bothered about it....... FUCK YOU MAN....... i really really really really DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE AFTER POLY>>>>> GET LOST!!!!!!!

till next time ....